


My Life is Apparently a Disney Movie

by cantkeepupwithmyfeels



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Gabriel is an ass, M/M, Other Parings are implied, Sabriel - Freeform, Sam is done, so basically he's Gabriel, then he's a sweet heart
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-01-24
Updated: 2014-03-10
Packaged: 2018-01-09 20:19:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1150378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cantkeepupwithmyfeels/pseuds/cantkeepupwithmyfeels
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In blog form. Gabriel Novak is sick and fucking tired of these love sick feelings that everyone gets during Valentine's Day, (even his younger brother Castiel is dating someone now!) and, whist comforting his half-sister and watching a Disney Movie Marathon and decided to rant about it on his blog. One year later, he can't believe where that first post had gotten him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Someone Needs to Rewrite Disney

**Author's Note:**

> So, my girlfriend helped me with the comments she doesn't have an account so this is her recognition. I use a lot of code names in here so here they are for the first chapter:
> 
> Castiel- Prince Awkward
> 
> Dean- Princess Eyes
> 
> Anna- Lady Angst.

**Someone needs to rewrite Disney.**

_Posted by: CandyCoatedTrickster_

  
_On: February 14, 2013  
_

 

 I'm telling ya, the story is always the same, hero meets girl, they fall in love, villain intervenes, hero stops them, gets the girl and lives happily ever fucking after while some poor ass villain find themselves over a cliff or dead or something. And this has become the basis for the rest of the world. Name one person you know that doesn't want a Disney Romance. I mean, even my baby brother, for the sake of the Disney theme, lets call him Prince Awkward, has someone! Granted this guy, lets call him Princess Eyes, is a few Hersey bars short of an assortment and I don't trust him around Prince Awkward (yes baby bro, well aware you read this) as far as I can throw 'im but that's not the point. Even he has swept someone off his feet and I'm stuck having a Disney movie night with my sister (lets call her Lady Angst) who just broke up with her own boyfriend (i.e. the name) while everyone (and I mean  _everyone,_ kinda sucks) is out for the holiday our good friends the Greeks invented.

 

 Don't get me wrong, I don't  _mind_ comforting Lady Angst but I am frustrated as fuck if you catch my drift. Honestly dry spells suck. Welp, Lady Angst is waking up. Post more later.

 

_CandyCoatedTrickster._

* * *

_  
_ _**C** omments:_   


_Comment by:_ LawMoose  
 _Posted on:_ February 14, 2013

That's a little hard on Disney, don't you think? All their romance-based movies are adaptations of fairy tales or folklore, all of which involved someone getting swept off their feet and finding true love. The reason this has become the basis within society is because it's what helped society remain hopeful and carry on. If it weren't for happy endings in dark times, who's to say any of us would be here, let alone the world we live in? And what's wrong with wanting a happy ending? What's so wrong with wanting everything to turn out alright in the end? And yeah, being alone on this shitty holiday fucking sucks, but no need to take it out on Disney.

LawMoose

* * *

_Comment by:_ CandyCoatedTrickster

  
_Posted on:_ February 15, 2013

 

Take into account that I just sat through a twelve, count 'em, hour Disney Marathon, so call me bias. Also, all that 'happy ending' crap very rarely applies to real life (And yes, I realize they are just movies). In the US alone, there are more people getting divorced than married each year. Also, the fairy tales they adapt, which obviously gives them creative license I also realize, almost never end well in the original versions. In fact, Snow White is the closest they gotten, and even then there was a major age difference. That and Rapunzel are really the only ones off the top of my head that originally ended even slightly happy. That fairy tale mentality is fine if you want to fine yourself constantly looking for something that does not exist. There is very rarely love when it comes to relationship, only lust. 

 

_CandyCoatedTrickster_

* * *

_Comment by:_ LawMoose  
 _Posted on_ : February 15, 2013

You're really pessimistic, aren't you? Yeah, I'll admit, the amount of divorce is astronomically high and it's sad to see, but who's to say people aren't getting their happy endings? Think about all the people that /don't/ get married and are happy together. Some people who find their happy endings /can't/ get married, and there also people who just don't feel like getting married. Happy endings don't always mean ending up with prince charming, happy endings just mean that you're happy at the end of the day. And bullshit love doesn't exist. You can't tell me there aren't people that truly and honestly love each other, no matter what. Lust isn't what drives people to die for each other, lust isn't what drives people to put everything on the line for a chance.

LawMoose

* * *

_Comment by_ : CandyCoatedTrickster

  
_Posted on_ : February 15, 2013

 

Are you not wearing your reading glasses or some thing? I said  _rarely_. There is a difference. My parents were together a good 25 years and I do believe they loved each other (to a point). I believe my brother is in love with Princess Eyes whether I like it or not. But, lust is more common. That's not pessimism, that's fact and primal instinct. 

 

_CandyCoatedTrickster_

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_  
_   


  
_Comment by_ : LawMoose  
 _Posted on_ : February 16, 2013

Look, there was obviously some pessimistic subtext. And even then, it's not as rare as you want to think it is. And everyone has primal instinct, I will admit. However, there a lot of people that takes that lust and ends up forming a lasting, honest relationship.

LawMoose

* * *

 _Comment by_ : CandyCoatedTrickster

  
 _Posted on_ : February 17, 2013

Or into something that simulates love. Like chocolate.

 _CandyCoatedTrickster_

* * *

 _Comment by_ : LawMoose

  
 _Posted on_ : February 17, 2013

You just love being a douchebag, don't ya? No, I'm sorry, you're probably just lusting after it

LawMoose

* * *

 

 _Comment by_ : CandyCoatedTrickster

  
 _Posted on_ : February 17, 2013

Ooooo, aren't you just the witty one? I'm not sure how I'll recover from that.

 _CandyCoatedTrickster_


	2. Aaaaaand Enter Villainess

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel laughing at his brother's pain and /then/ deciding to help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, my girlfriend helped with the comments, so here is her credit.

**Aaaaaaand, Enter Villainess.**

 

 

_Posted by: CandyCoatedTrickster_

_On: February 21, 2013_

Oh man, I am friggin  _dying_. I don't think I've ever laughed so hard at something Prince Awkward has said in my  _life_ , and this is the kid that helped me with the code name for our oldest brother (King Assbutt)! 

For those of you lovely bloggers who are just looking at my blog and are too damn lazy to tune into last week's episode of 'Apparently My Life is a Freaking Disney Movie', on Valentine's Day, I was stuck (okay, to be completely honest I could have left but I'm not  _that_ much of an asshole) watching a Disney Marathon with my little sister and it got me thinking about Disney romances vs. real life and decided, as opposed to saying 'my brothers/sister' I would give them fairy tale names.

Anyway, about twenty minutes ago, Prince Awkward came in here flustered as all hell, which, you know, isn't that weird. Anyway, after a few minutes of trying to get him to calm the fuck down and tell me what happened, the adorable goof ball blurts out that his ex-girlfriend just came into town.

Now let me explain something, I wasn't living at home at the time Prince Awkward got a girlfriend, his only girlfriend. But I guess they were really into each other for a while until something or other happened, I dunno like I said, I was away from home doing awesome stuff. But I met the girl once or twice, let's just call her the Hitchhiker (what? Not everyone can be graced with a cool code name). 

Oh, but it gets better. She was at  _Princess Eyes' house._  I guess she was looking for his brother, who is in Harvard or Yale or something like that, I didn't really pay attention, (I wasn't aware that Princess Eyes had a brother, file that under things I really don't give a shit about) and started flirting up a storm with Prince Awkward in front of Princess Eyes, they got into an argument and that caused Prince Awkward to come to me.

 

Fear not sweet Prince! Big brother has got a trick or two up his sleeve ;3

 

_CandyCoatedTrickster_

* * *

**Comments:** _  
_

_Comment by_ : LawMoose  
 _Posted on_ : February 21, 2013

That's pretty weird, seeing as my brother just called and told me that my ex girlfriend came over and started a huge fight. Anyways, sorry your brother's going through that kind of crap, exes can be really frustrating.

LawMoose

* * *

_Comment by_ **:** CandyCoatedTrickster

  
_Posted on_ : February 21, 2013

 

Ah, and the Moose returns. Prince Awkward is tougher and more coniving than he seems, nothing we can't handle.

 

_CandyCoatedTrickster_

* * *

_Comment by_ : LawMoose  
 _Posted on_ : February 21, 2013

Gee,you seem so enthralled. And still, doesn't make it any easier.

LawMoose

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_Comment by_ : CandyCoatedTrickster

  
_Posted on_ : February 22, 2013

 

I've been counting the seconds since your last post and he knows I have everything under control.

 

_CandyCoatedTrickster_

* * *

 

  
_Comment by_ : Baby-in-a-Trench-Coat

  
_Posted on_ : February 22, 2013

 

Actually, I am the slightest bit concerned with your plan of action...

 

* * *

  
_Comment by_ : CandyCoatedTrickster

  
_Posted on_ : February 22, 2013

 

Shush Prince Awkward of the Land of Little Faith

 

_CandyCoatedTrickster_

* * *

_Comment by_ : LawMoose

  
_Posted on_ : February 22, 2013

I'm swooning. Really. And, I'm kind of concerned with what your plan here is.

LawMoose

* * *

_Comment by_ : CandyCoatedTrickster

  
_Posted on_ : February 23, 2013

 

All you need to know is it's gonna be awesome.

 

_CandyCoatedTrickster_


	3. An Ode to Stupidity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel fucks up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is me giving my girlfriend credit. Short chapters are short and I apologize.
> 
> Baby-In-A-Trench-Coat: Castiel
> 
> DrunknFabulous: Balthazar

**Welp.**

 

_Posted by: CandyCoatedTrickster_

_On: February 26, 2013_

 

That, uhh...that could have gone better...fuck I am in deep shit. I'll post more later, gotta clean up before King Assbutt gets home.

 

  
_CandyCoated_ _Trickster_

  
__

* * *

**Comments:**

 

  
_Comment by_ : Baby-in-a-Trench-Coat

  
_Posted on_ : February 26, 2013

 

I am going fucking kill you.

 

* * *

  
_Comment by_ : DrunknFabulous

  
_Posted on_ : Febuary 26, 2013

 

Fuck, what did you do to make _him_ swear?

* * *

 

  
**Help!**

 

_Posted by: CandyCoatedTrickster_

_On: February 26, 2013_

 

Currently hiding from Prince Awkward, if you guys don't here from me in twenty-four hours, assume he found and killed me. If I live through this, I'll fill you guys in.

 

  
_CandyCoated_ _Trickster_

  
__

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**Comments:**

  
**  
**_There are no comments on this post._

* * *

 

 

**Phew.**

 

_Posted by: CandyCoatedTrickster_

_On: February 27, 2013_

So, I'm alive! Gotta get this mess sorted out. I know some of you guys are wondering what the hell I did and well, I  _would_  tell you if I hadn't sworn to my baby brother that I would never relay the story again. Normally I wouldn't be so amendment about it but...I _can_ tell you, however, that it involved Princess Eye, glitter, some particularly tight clothing, a lot of arguing and the neighbor's dog.

 

Prince Awkward, if you are still keeping up with these, I'll fix it. A normal way, not my usual style but I'll fix it. Probably don't trust me anymore than you did when I came home but I'll fix it. Trust me on this.

 

  
_CandyCoated_ _Trickster_

* * *

_  
_**Comments:**

_Comment by_ : LawMoose  
 _Posted on_ : February 27, 2013

Hey, is everything okay over there?

LawMoose

* * *

_Comment by_ : CandyCoatedTrickster  
 _Posted on_ : February 27, 2013

Is...sorta now..

_CandyCoatedTrickster_

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_Comment by_ : LawMoose  
 _Posted on_ : February 27, 2013

Anything you wanna talk about?

LawMoose

* * *

_Comment by_ : CandyCoatedTrickster  
 _Posted on_ : February 28, 2013

I can handle it, Moose

_CandyCoatedTrickster_

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_Comment by_ : LawMoose  
 _Post on_ : February 28, 2013

Talking about it helps, man.

LawMoose

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_Comment by_ : CandyCoatedTrickster  
 _Posted on_ : February 28, 2013

Yeah, not something I wanna discuss over my blog, no offense.

__CandyCoatedTrickster_ _

* * *

 

_Comment by_ : LawMoose  
 _Posted on_ : March 1, 2013

Hey, no big deal.

LawMoose

* * *

_Comment by_ : CandyCoatedTrickster  
 _Posted on_ : March 1, 2013

Thanks Moose.

__CandyCoatedTrickster_ _

* * *

_Comment by_ : LawMoose  
 _Posted on_ : March 1, 2013  


Anytime, Trickster.

LawMoose


	4. Here comes Prince Not-So-Charming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Again, short chapter is short and my girlfriend helped with things. Also, sorry for how long this has taken, school and other things kinda got in the way.

 

  
**Mission: Success** **.**

 

_Posted by: CandyCoatedTrickster_

_On: March 6, 2013_

 

Who's the best big brother in the entire fucking world? That's right, this guy! 

 

After the whole incident, it took a few days for Prince Awkward to talk to me again, which gave me time to scheme and get a few favors pulled. 

 

See, I used to work at this restaurant, big name place that I rather not get sued over by putting the name on my blog. Well, the owner (much to his dismay) owed me. So, I had him let me use the restaurant when it was supposed to be closed (it was a big favor, you guys have no clue) and let me use the kitchen. I gave a call to these guys I knew when I was one my own to provide music, got some candles burning, all that jazz. 

 

Not going to tell you guys the entire thing but I should have just asked him in the first place. However, this whole situation did not go unpunished seeing as I had to meet Princess Eyes's little brother this weekend. Joy. 

 

  
_CandyCoated_ _Trickster_

* * *

_**Comments:** _

 

 _Comment by_ : LawMoose  
 _Posted On_ : March 6, 2013

I'm taking it princess eyes' brother is no prince charming?

LawMoose

* * *

 _Comment by_ : CandyCoatedTrickster

  
_Posted On_ : March 6, 2013

 

Wouldn't know, never met the guy. Prince Awkward has, says he's alright. Then again if you couldn't tell I'm not a fan of Princess Eyes.

 

CandyCoatedTrickster

* * *

_Comment by_ : LawMoose

_Posted On_ : March 7, 2013

Yeah, it's pretty evident. But he can't be all bad if your brother likes him.

LawMoose

* * *

  
_Comment by_ : CandyCoatedTrickster

  
_Posted On_ : March 7, 2013  


 

Point taken. Buuut, he's not always the best judge of character.

CandyCoatedTrickster

* * *

_Comment by_ : LawMoose

_Posted On_ : March 7, 2013

Well he hangs out with you, what does that say?

LawMoose

* * *

  
_Comment by_ : CandyCoatedTrickster

  
 _Posted On_ : March 7, 2013  


I am pretty awesome.

CandyCoatedTrickster

* * *

  
 _Comment by_ : LawMoose

 _Posted On_ : March 7, 2013

Not exactly what I was hinting at, but there you go

LawMoose

* * *

 **Gag me with a spoon.**

 _Posted by: CandyCoatedTrickster_

 _On: March 9, 2013_

The long awaited day has arrived. Apparently, it's been decided that General Harvard (what I'm calling Princess Eyes' brother) is going to come to us. At least I'll have the computer. Currently sitting on the couch watching Prince Awkward fuss (which is really amusing if you've never seen it, worse than a girl at the prom) obviously on my lap top waiting for Princess Eyes and General Harvard to get here. Fuck,  _DrunknFabulous_ , why the hell couldn't of  _you_ visited this weekend? You could have saved me and got drunk off our asses.

  
 _CandyCoated_ _Trickster_  


* * *

 **Comments**  


  
 _Comment by:_ DrunknFabulous

  
 _Posted On:_ March 9, 2013

Next week, you will survive, love.

DrunknFabulous

* * *

  
 _Comment by:_  CandyCoatedTrickster

  
 _Posted On:_ March 9, 2013

You don't know that.

 

CandyCoatedTrickster

* * *

**Let the Torture Begin.**

_Posted by: CandyCoatedTrickster_

_On: March 9, 2013_

 

Well, Princess Eyes (frankly ridiculous, vintage) car just pulled into the drive way. And so it begins.

 

  
_CandyCoated_ _Trickster_   


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**Comments:**

_There are no comments for this post._

 

* * *

**Oh fuck.**

_Posted by: CandyCoatedTrickster_

_On: March 9, 2013_

He's hot.

 

_CandyCoatedTrickster_

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**Comments:**

_There are no comments for this post._

* * *

  
**Oh FUCK.** _  
_   


_Posted by: CandyCoatedTrickster_

_On: March 9, 2013_

 

He's hot and has more than ten brain cells.

 

_CandyCoatedTrickster_

 

* * *

  
**Comments:**

_There are no comments for this post._

* * *

  
**Fuuuuuuck.** _  
_   


_Posted by: CandyCoatedTrickster_

_On: March 9, 2013_

He's hot, smart, and tall. Like, really tall.

 

_CandyCoatedTrickster_

* * *

  
**Comments:**

_There are no comments for this post._

* * *

  
**Because he is.** _  
_   


_Posted by: CandyCoatedTrickster_

_On: March 9, 2013_

 

Did I mention he was hot?

 

_CandyCoatedTrickster_

* * *

  
**Comments:**

_There are no comments for this post._

* * *

_**Daaaaaaaaaaamn.** _

_Posted by: CandyCoatedTrickster_

_On: March 9, 2013_

Like, 'shut up and fuck me senseless' hot.

 

_CandyCoatedTrickster_

* * *

  
**Comments:**

_There are no comments for this post._

* * *

_**FML.** _

_Posted by: CandyCoatedTrickster_

_On: March 9, 2013_

AND HE'S TAKEN!

 

_CandyCoatedTrickster_

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**Comments:**

_There are no comments for this post._

 


End file.
